Back to school again. For the first time in nine years, I have not driven to the elementary school. Both kids are at the high school now. How does the time go so quickly, and yet drag at the same time? As I left the parking lot this morning, Fischer had already met up with a friend of his, and he didn't even notice when I drove away. I am glad about that;at least he's not nervous, much. But it struck me as I was leaving, that both my kids are having a very different experience than I did, at that school. Junior high was my own personal hell on earth. As I can look back now, twenty four years later, I see that much of it was more or less my own doing, I was painfully insecure. Too afraid to even talk to upperclassmen! Can you imagine? I didn't know then, that nobody is going to talk to you if you're afraid of your own shadow. Not being involved didn't help either. But there again, I never felt that I would be "good enough" at anything, so I never did anything. A self fullfilling prophecy, I suppose. But a part of it, as well, had to do with my parents getting divorced right around that time. Sometimes it takes me a loooong time to figure things out( go ahead and say, Sarah: DUH!). But in thinking, and hoping that Fischer has a good time in school, made me realize that they are NOT going to have the same experience I did. Kind of makes me want to go do it over. With what I know now, of course.
