at the edge of the diving board

I feel like I did when I stood on the edge of Second Dock, at the pool I swam in when I was growing up. It was so far above the dark green water, and everyone who jumped( I was never confident enough to actually dive), would stand there for that moment, trying to gauge how deep it would be, how cold, if they could touch the bottom. Right now I feel like that. Everything that I have become used to in my life, since I got married 16 years ago, is changing. I had my sons, and stayed home to raise them during their younger years. As they got older, I began to work with my husband, something all of our friends said they themselves could never do( " He /She would drive me crazy!). But now. Now I am standing on the edge of the diving board. Craig and I are still good, after all these years, and all we have been through. This last year has been, without a doubt, the most difficult. What with sales dropping off, but never with bills getting lower, the decision to go back to school, and get my degree in Nursing has been made. I am beyond nervous. At first, I was excited. To be honest, I still am. But now its tinged around the edges with fear. What if I don't get the classes I need? It's so late to be registering. What if , despite my best efforts, I don't get the grades I need?The A&P was always my downfall. Will I be able to continue to give my boys what they need? Fischer is worried I'll be too busy for him. Other concerns as well, that I really don't have a name for. Just a general feeling of unease. I never imagined that I would be doing anything like this at my age.My sisters, and my mom, dad, grandma, aunts, are all so thrilled for me. I know that this is the right thing to do, to show my children how important it is to get the college education. That it dosen't matter how old you are, to try to improve yourself. I want them to be proud of me, as I am proud of their accomplishments.
Perhaps, once I have actually registered for classes, I will feel better. I'm worried that, as its so late in the summer, I will find that the classes I need are filled. That is my biggest fear. It feels like hurry up and wait.
Ona better note, one of our customers showed up a few minutes ago with WORK! Of course, he'd not brought his checkbook, par for the course. But this is going to take a great deal of the pressure off the rest of my worries, for who dosen't worry about money? We'll get through this, we've managed every other challenge so far. The truth is , that you really don't know what you can do until you're faced with the most difficult of challenges. They are different for everyone, but you don't forget the lessons that they teach you.