Time Stands Still

i don't mind

2011-10-27T13:20:00.002-04:00

* this has nothing to do with anything. except that i took it on an 80 degree day this month, and now its snowing. *

I'll tell you a secret. I really don't mind vacuuming, or sweeping, or even doing the laundry. Really. ( Don't tell my kids.) But I do mind having to do it because no one else will.

The Sun

2011-08-16T15:16:00.002-04:00

Behold! The Sun, she has returned( after a three day hiatus.) Gladly, it was only raining outside, and not inside, as I have finally fixed the leak in my bedroom. And in other, unrelated happenings, just some images from my summer, of kayaking with children and friends, and of hiking with sisters and nephews. The latter was especially good, as my sister lives in Florida, and does not get a chance to come up and spend more than a few hours at a time with us. That she spent three days this time was a treat, even though we also spent a week together when the boys and I drove down to Florida in June! I will certainly take all the time I can get with her and her boys, as mine own family lives some distance from me( all of them). So although I have been very busy this summer( classes, vacations, and general life), there was also a good deal of out-of-the-ordinary happenings as well.

2011-07-28T07:24:00.002-04:00

In June we went to Florida for a week. Wonderful. Today, some gardening, homework, and a trip to the dentist. I think this is the slowest day I've had since coming home. I could do with a few more, I think.

16....

2011-06-09T08:07:00.003-04:00

This morning I remembered what it felt like to be 9+ months pregnant. The heavy, heavy belly. The way I had to walk, with my poor feet so swollen I couldn't bend my ankles or toes. The funny thing is, its been 16 years since I was like that. How can he be that old already? I was so young, only 21. Of course now, I think of things I would have done differently. That's always the way. It was still good though. Sometimes I can remember being 16 myself like it was only a couple years ago. So many things I would have told my 16 year old self, but I wouldn't have listened. Sometimes I don't feel qualified to be the parent of teenagers. My teens were so different than theirs are, their father's teen years too. But we seem to be doing a pretty good job so far, I hope.

happy mother's day

2011-05-08T08:46:00.002-04:00

Happy Mother's Day. I love you both so much.

luck.

2011-05-07T10:07:00.002-04:00

people always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly
than they have.

peace.

2011-05-03T19:26:00.004-04:00

peace.
it does not mean to be in a place where there is no
noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of
all those things and still be calm in your heart.

transition

2011-03-19T09:21:00.002-04:00

50 degree days. a fire in the stove this morning. even though this life is not perfect, its good enough.

Sometimes I forget...

2010-11-29T06:32:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in things that are less important I forget the ones that are more so. This weekend, I forgot to linger, and instead got to rushing. I lost sleep over it. Every time that I think I've got things figured out( including myself), I fall again. Often, I wonder what I have done to deserve my sister.

I just can't stay away

2010-10-23T10:45:00.003-04:00

I so rarely post anything anymore I sometimes wonder why I bother. I guess it's like Facebook, once it's there, you feel slightly compelled to check on it every now and then. I had grand plans of using this space for things like talking about books I've read( I do loooove to read), but so far , nope. Of course I don't read much but school books these days, but still. So many people have such brilliant things to say( Soulemama, bluebirdbaby, anyone?)that I feel like it is a better use of my time to just do things, and let others do the writing, for now. But I do love sharing pictures, so here a a couple from out my door this morning.

here comes the rain

2010-09-04T16:08:00.002-04:00

pileated woodpecker

Night~blooming Cirrus

Oh, the weather has finally changed. Gone are the oppresive 90 degree days, with their wretched humidity. In their place today, we have cool breezes, and a wonderful mix of sunshine( for the soccer game), and rain,( for immediatley after). I reaaly do love summer, but cannot tolerate the humidity that makes me feel like I'm wearing a blanket on my chest.

These woodpeckers were hanging out at our house for a couple days last week. As I was pulling in the driveway, they flew up in front of me, so I grabbed the camera that I luckily happened to have in the car, and managed to get a couple of shots before they got too far away.

The flower is one of about eight or so from my night-blooming Cirrus, which is truly the world's ugliest plant. Being as it's actually a climbing, vining type of tropical plant, its really not suprising that its so sprawly. It just grows all over the place, no symmetry or anything, but once a year, usually late August, early September, the flowers show up. They are fabulous. They really do bloom at night, and each one only opens once, and then that's it. But, they smell amazing. If you are lucky, and get out of bed early enough, you can see them in the morning, before they wilt, but by then the scent has gone. The funny thing is, I've had this plant for about 20 years, and it never did much of anything. It's not a typical houseplant that one sees in New England, but one year I decided to put it outside for the summer. That did it, so now every May, out it goes...

I'm back at school these days, actually taking Nursing now, instead of hoping I get in. A bit different than last year, certainly more work. ( which is funny, considering its only 6 credits, last year I was doing 10) Our first exam is in 2 weeks(!), I'm determined to get an "A".As my Anatomy proffessor said last year, " Study what you don't know". Makes sense to me. But first its a nap, as this awful cold I have found somewhere along the way kept me up all of last night. Me no likey. Even the dog is sneezing, maybe its in the air. Cheers!

What I did on summer vacation

2010-08-16T19:16:00.003-04:00

my cousin's wedding in August

at a (surprise) 60th birthday!

paddling

on the lake

at Niagara Falls(American side)

just after crossing the border

at Gramma's( yes I'm in a picture!)

Gramma, after scolding me not to take the picture

It's been sooo busy this summer, with surprise birthday parties, unexpected trips North of the border, weddings, summer basketball, soccer starting, getting ready for school( and trying to conquer the accompanying butterflies in my stomach!) I couldn't believe that it's been two months since I've written anything. My sister and I went to Canada this month to visit our Gramma, it was a wonderful, if too short, trip. We spent the night in Niagara Falls( Canadian side) on the way home, and went to the state park on the American side the next day. I'd only ever been there in the winter, so to see it now,its amazing. We celebrated Craig's mother's 60th birthday, with a sucessfully-pulled-off suprise party, and just this past weekend, celebrated the marriage of my cousin Brian to his fiancee Missie. It was such a beautiful time, I especially loved "Here comes the Bride" played on kazoos by the wedding party. Awesome.Not to mention sneaking off to the lake for an afternoon, getting away to my sister's for a weekend, and spending all my spare time reading, trying to get it in before school starts( in a week!), when I'll be reading nothing but my textbooks. So, on that note, I'm off to visit Forks( again. Yes I know), if I can hear myself think over the clamour of boys in the next room.

Happy Father's Day!!!

2010-06-20T08:24:00.002-04:00

Happy Father's Day:: to my husband,Craig, who recently celebrated 15 years of being a great Dad, and to my dad, my grandpa Al, Craig's grandpa Bob, and my brother in laws, Tim, Sean and Jon.

is it....

2010-06-19T12:57:00.003-04:00

finally summertime? Time for homemade popsicles, pomegranate lemonade, swimming, and things to finally be growing in the garden? Why, yes, I do believe it is.

this moment

2010-06-11T15:02:00.003-04:00

{this moment}:: a single photo capturing a moment from my week, inspired by Amanda

Sometimes...

2010-06-08T21:17:00.003-04:00

Sometimes, our children are our greatest teachers, about forgiveness, patience, and the kind of people we want to be when we grow up. Oftentimes, I think, we really don't deserve them.

this moment

2010-06-04T08:28:00.002-04:00

this moment:: a Friday ritual( although my last was awhile back :)

summertime...

2010-05-28T14:01:00.004-04:00

::clothes on the line

:: not a cloud in sight

:: typing this with garden~dirty hands

:: putting seeds in the ground

:: giving old plants new homes

:: eavesdropping on the birds conversations while I work

::getting ready for the first trip of the season to the beach

what makes your ordinary day special?

Sunday hiking

2010-04-21T16:11:00.002-04:00

Going hiking with the kids these days is a rare experience. Between all the sports, school, and other " stuff", there dosen't seem to be as much time for a hike. But we'd gone to visit their Graet Grandpa, and afterwards, Hunter had some places he wanted to show us. So we went. It was fun. This is all behind their grandfather's house in Proctor, and the best part was it didn't rain till later. Speaking of rain, it's very dark in the sky at the moment, we're supposed to get thunderstorms later. I am a bit tired of rain, of course this morning was beautiful, while I was working. Figures.

in which I am doing everything but what I am supposed to be...

2010-04-11T08:49:00.005-04:00

I've finally managed to get out there and get some pictures of the Spring that has seemed to happen overnite. Either it was too grey, or there was too much going on. I will be glad for the first week of May, school's out! I am so glad to be back in school, don't get me wrong. Having never thought I would/could do anything like this, I'm still kind of surprised at my self. But this week's got so much to do:: an exam in every class, plus a paper due in Anatomy& Physiology. Then, studying for finals two weeks after that. At least the boys are on vacation, no games this week for them. Of course, that's just in one sport, they still have soccer games( which of course I will miss:( ). But no baseball till next week. Hunter has signed up for his sophomore classes this past week, Driver's Ed this summer! I can't believe its that time already. I'm not sure I want to be old enough to have a driving teenager. At least Fischer's still got a couple years.

In other very exciting news, I've got a clothesline! No, really, that's very exciting. It's been 5 or so years since I've had one, and how I've missed hanging things on the line. Craig put it up for me last Tuesday. I can look out my bedroom window and see it, it makes me so happy. Of course, its not the cool, old aluminum vintage retractable one I got at the rummage sale last year, that one proved to be waaay to short to fit anywhere. So I shall give it to my friend Gretchen, who has a very small yard, it should be just right. She has chickens too, I'm a wee bit jealous, but really, what would I do with one more thing to look after!? Fischer now has a fish( named Tom), as well as a gerbil named Emma( poor Jack, our replacement for Luke the hamster, did a runner on Easter morning. Oh yes, he did. Instead of looking for eggs, we were looking for hamster. Never found him. Poor little thing. )I do rather like having a fish again, I must say.

It's off to get my work done, and try to unstuff my poor head, I've got the worst cold ever! I haven't been sick like this in years. sigh. It's really not fair, why couldn't I have gotten it in the winter, when I didn't want to go outside? Ah well, happy Spring to everyone!

I can't think of a title for this post...

2010-04-03T08:38:00.003-04:00

This is not what it looks like at my house this morning. Today is bright, sunny and smells like spring. Flowers are up, leaves are coming out, and it's going to be 80(!) degrees today. Yesterday we were watching baseball. Things are good. This pic was taken a couple weeks ago, on a drizzly and grey Monday. I am fond of it, for all of that. I simply have not had time to get any pictures even taken, let alone uploaded lately. But soon, soon!, term will be over. Four weeks, in fact. I have never looked forward to summer vacation more. I have so many plans, including going to the lake( a lot!), hiking, camping reading, some sewing projects from A Handmade Home( which I got last winter, and haven't had a chance to make anything from yet), learning to play guitar, and how to knit socks. Maybe some lunch dates with my friends and sister, and getting ready for nursing school in the fall. Things are good.

The Vintage Swap....

2010-03-22T13:29:00.002-04:00

a new corner of my studio...

some lovely goodies from Leanne,

Pretty ribbon, and a sweet thrifting find...

this little crocheted doily is great...

another great thrifting find, linen and bird love( and British!)

Well, here we are. This seemed to take me forever to get posted, but Leanne's box was so full of wonderfulness( is that a word?). Lots of fabric, ribbons, buttons(squee!), and little hairpins, just right for Spring. Thank you so much, Leanne, I can't wait to use some of it, and Heather for setting it all up. Blogging has really changed my life, "meeting" all these wonderful women would never have happened without it. And since Leanne's box arrived the same day as a box full of "beach stuff" from my mom in Florida, it prompted a cleaning of the studio, and removal of some things that no longer worked for the space( can you say old metal-frame futon couch? to the dump with thee!). It freed up a good deal of valuble real estate, which naturally led to a little more throwing away, and some redecorating, so now that old wrought-iron lamp I got at the age of 13 has a great new home, to light up the perfect spot for studying. In a couple months, it will be lighting up some knitting, or embroidery, but that will wait.

The bread that needed to be baked on this cold, dreary Spring day is almost done, I can smell it.I love being able to have something good for the boys after school, it's a good thing I made four loaves, I bet we'll be down to two by bedtime!

Ahhh.....Spring

2010-03-20T07:57:00.003-04:00

The ice is going out on the pond, the crocuses are up, and all the manner of growing is going on in the gardens. As I sat down to write this, I saw a robin right outside my window. My mom used to mark on the calender when she saw her first robin in the spring. This winter posed many challenges, and now I am glad for all of them, they make the spring seem that much sweeter.

I'm still here...

2010-03-16T16:11:00.004-04:00

does anyone care? I feel like I've lost the last few weeks, it's already mid-March! and past Daylight Savings Time! I have been looking forward to that. So many things to report, but they shall have to wait. I'm neck -deep in school work, exams and exams and papers due soon. I got my acceptance into Nursing school at Castleton State( yay!) but I am so very nervous about it now. sigh. I know it'll be fine, it's just really a big thing for me. I got my box from Heather's Vintage Swap, pictures from that loveliness soon( they're still in my camera!). I'm off to Karate with the boys, and a bit of studying~ is it May yet? I need a vacation.I did get my Christmas present though, that beautiful bookcase. It was full the moment it was brought home. Thanks to my wonderful husband for that!

{this moment}*

2010-02-26T15:33:00.002-05:00

*idea from Soulemama

A winter's day

2010-02-25T07:52:00.002-05:00

The trees, from underneath, while snowshoeing..

the kids, trying to make a human snowman..

What a wonderful day we had yesterday. The boys proved they were not too old to go outside and play, and I got to spend two hours being reacquainted with an old frind, my snowshoes. Such heavy snow as we had made for slow going, but I'd finished my homework, and was in no hurry. A good lunch when I got home, and more of the kids going back outside, made perfect conditions for a quiet hot shower and a little nap. Being home for dinner was a treat as well, usually I'm in class at 6:00. So dinner with the family, beeswax candles and all, and now they're back to school, so a quiet morning is now to be had. I'll take it, as quiet is a rare and precious commodity in these parts.

Snow Day...

2010-02-24T07:14:00.004-05:00

A little bit of breakfast...

someone else doing the hard work...

lots of snow....

a little Spring peeking out....

all equals a Snow Day! No school for the boys, and no work for me. Seeing as I work in a school, that does make sense, but its still nice. The only thing was that after the 5:30 am call from the school, and the 6:15 call from work, I erally couldn't get back to sleep. But as I am now up before the rest of my house, I will enjoy the peace and quiet,and have my tea. I'm betting my class will be cancelled tonite as well, which will make for a bit of a nice break, I need to get some papers finished up. I didn't do a thing on them yesterday, but I did get a box together to send to Leanne, of Little House Mouse. ( I really need to learn how to make my links work!) She and I were partnered in the Vintage Swap, hosted by Heather of Shivaya Naturals. The first of March is kind of sneaking up on me, but it'll go out today, yay! Our post office is open in town after 6 months of being closed due to fire damage. No more going to the next town, with its big post office/court building, and little tiny parking lot!Plus, I am going to go snowshoeing this afternoon, I haven't had the snow to go since December. I am ready for Spring, but I guess Winter can stick around a little while longer, as long as March goes out like a lamb.

reason # 1306 to have a Dutch oven

2010-02-20T16:40:00.005-05:00

This Dutch oven, in fact. This very one, Carribean Blue, Le Creuset, 5 1/2 quart. I was making the Pioneer Woman's Pot Roast, and as I was reading the directions, it told me to use my Dutch oven. ( By the way, if you do not have a copy of her cookbook, get one.Right now. She's amazing.)Not having one, I sighed, and proceeded to improvise. I do that so very well. And while it will undoubtedly come out fine( and if not, it will be my fault, not hers), I am sure it would have tasted better coming out of that wonderfully blue Dutch Oven. I am saving all my pennies for this( yes really! actual pennies!)and someday it will sit in my cupboard, at the ready for risotto, soup, bread, and oh yes, pot roast.

edited to add:: PW Pot Roast=YUM!

is it Summer yet?

2010-02-16T17:06:00.003-05:00

So, this is not what it looks like at my house right now. Nor does it depict anything that I have done recently, like going to Boston (to see Harry Potter). Still haven't managed to get those pics off my camera, eveen though there's not much to see, as we couldn't take pictures in the Exhibition itself( stupid copyright). But to be able to see the actual items from the movies, it was beyond amazing. As is my sister Sarah, who arranged the whole thing( and drove in Boston. I just couldn't have done it. We'd still be there.) The clothes, books, wands, props, classrooms, I loooved the wardrobe with the Boggart in it! The Quidditch. Oh, the Quidditch. I really couldn't pick just one thing to be my favorite.
Fischer is feeling a bit better now, for those who were wondering. After the dentist( clean bill of teeth for both! Yay!), we went to Petco, and he chose another little furry friend. He named him Jack. I keep calling him Jake. We have a yellow dog named Jake. It's confusing. But even this did not stop him from having a (teen -age) hissy fit about going to Karate tonite, because Tuesdays are boring. But when he has no winter sport, because basketball is boring, he dosen't get to ditch Karate as well. There would just be too much sitting around in the winter if he did, and unfortunatley, he's one of those kids who shouldn't sit around. All my logic was wasted on him. I hate to say I just told him he's going, and that 's it, but I did. I know that after, he'll be in a better mood( because that's one of the benefits of excercise), but putting up with it till then is JUST NO FUN. It feels like I'm "forcing him" to do this, but if he's left to his own devices, he will just sit there. How else do you manage the fine line between encouraging and making them do something? He does love Karate, and is good at it. Almost-thirteen can just be so fun sometimes.
Anyway, my picture is from last summer. It's snowing here, and I'm really feeling that I'm done with winter. That seems to be going round the blogosphere, so I thought I'd throw a little summer to anyone who stops by here.

A not-so-happy ending...

2010-02-15T21:35:00.004-05:00

So. I took Amanda's advice. I got out of Dodge. Changed my scenery. Went to the Boston Museum of Science with Fischer, to see the Harry Potter Exhibition( totally freaking awesome!!!!!!!). Although it was a long ride home, that was alright. Get home about 9 pm. Fine.Fischer goes to check on Luke( his hamster. Can you see where this is going?) Poor Luke, not so much with the living anymore. *sigh* He's never had a pet die on him before, I feel so bad. There's really nothing I can do for him, I am not used to that, as a mother. And, I felt really bad putting poor Lukey in the trash, but what else can I do with him in February? I would've buried him. But it's frozen out there. And yes, tomorrow after the dentist, we'll go to Petco and get a new hamster( since I just bought new food and bedding, it seems silly not to have a hamster to go with it). So maybe tomorrow, we'll have a happier Fischer. And I'll tell you about the HP Exhibit( for anyone who actually reads this). But for tonight, I feel like I'm not doing very well at getting away from the winter gloom. And I was trying so hard.

Moving on...

2010-01-30T08:33:00.004-05:00

I can't wait to try the Tunisian Crocheting I found in here!

This one is my favorite, just sooo much cool stuff to try!

SO, it's high time that I posted about the wonderful books that Laura(at a http://asmatteringoflaura.blogspot.com/) sent me. (Sorry about the link, its the only way I can get it to work.) As I've started the Spring term at school( even though its 3 degrees here right now), I will have to put these on hold for a couple months, along with all the other reading I've yet to get to. But, it was great to get this in the mail, there are so many projects that are now on my " must make " list, along with a few that are on the "I can't wait to try that" list as well. The sun is shining brightly this morning, and my household is still sleeping( its not just mothers of small children who wish for their kids to sleep in on a Saturday morning!). I can feel my sadness slowly slipping away, especially as today the only thing I have to do is walk with my friend( long overdue), and get a start on my homework. I found out yesterday that my classes end on 30 April. Woot! Just in time for Spring planting of basil, tomato and marigolds! Also, my sister and I are going to take ( most of) our kids to the Boston Museum of Science, for the Harry Potter exhibit, in February. I love that place.

So, thank you thank you Laura! These books made my day!

Too much bad news...

2010-01-20T21:16:00.005-05:00

I meant this to be a post about the wonderful books Laura sent me for the Creative Book Swap, ( and I will), but I just can't bring myself to gloat about books right now. My sister/best friend called awhile ago to tell me that her little dog had been hit by a car, and thay couldn't do anything for her, so she had to be put to sleep. It's awful. Ethel was just one of those dogs. You know the ones. They just belong to you, even though they are a family pet. She had Ethel for 3 years. She was a great little dog, not very big, but not one of the yappy little dogs, either. She would jump right up in your lap, as soon as you sat in her chair by the fire. Then when you kicked, I mean gently nudged her out of the way, she would lie down on your feet with a humph.I had one of those dogs. Her name was Mercury, and she was very definitly mine. We got her 2 months before our oldest son was born, and she went everywhere with me, and in a couple months, us. She slept with me, rode everywhere I went, was always right next to me, no matter what. She was put to sleep 3 years and 2 months ago, and sometimes when I walk up on the mountain behind my house, I can still see her following me. My poor sister. She lost her Mercury, and I hate being an hour away from her. Of course, there is nothing I can do to make it better, but at least I' be there. I will see her on Friday, so I guess that will have to do.
A note to all my friends:: please, no more bad news!! I'v had quite enough, thank you. Last week, my friend called with another piece of very bad news( for her, but still, she's quite dear to me, so it hurt me that she was hurting.) With that, and all the horrors in Haiti,I'm coming down with a bad case of the winter blues. * sigh*

Happy things...

2010-01-12T16:45:00.003-05:00

A few things that are making my day these days:: my new(very soft) organic cotton scarf, that exactly matches my new winter coat( even though I bought the yarn ages ago!)

the promise of Spring on my windowsill::maybe for next year I'll find some vintage forcing vases, a trade, anyone?

And the sun through the icicles on my window, both the sun and the ice make me happy, it's so pretty when I wake up in the morning.

What makes you happy ?

Getting things done( or why I love clotheslines)

2010-01-11T18:48:00.005-05:00

This is a nonsense post, having nothing to do with anything that's going on in my life, or my head right now. ( and believe me, here is plenty). No, right now its about 10 degrees outside, and does not feel much warmer inside. I hate it when you get cold, and just cannot warm back up. Anyway. This is a picture of the clothesline at my sister's house, last August. We grew up with a clothesline in the summer( our Mom was not so hard-core about it that she used it in the winter!), and we spent alot of time making forts and houses under the sheets hung out to dry. Now, let me just tell you, at this current time, I do not have a clothesline. I used to, until the box elder it was hung on fell over. It never did get put back up, for one reason, or another, and I have had to resort to borowing my 85 year-old neighbors on occasion, because there is nothing like the smell of sheets dried on the line. But No More, I tell you! Last Fall, at the annual rummage sale in town, I bought this aluminum beauty, ( for .25 !). My gramma used to have one off her back deck, anmy sister and I , and all our cousins would have a ball playing under it. So. Now I am dreaming of just the right place for it to go in my yard, and of course, just the right weather for it as well, because now, not so much. But, before I know it, it will be Spring. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway.....

Anyone else dreaming of Spring?

Books! Books! Books!

2010-01-04T08:45:00.005-05:00

Books books. Love my books. These are (most of) the ones that I have, I forgot the two shelves of photo albums in my bedroom, which hold 16 years worth of pics. So I thought that this would go along with the Creative Book Exchange, hosted by Julia. I have been paired with Lily,of Block-a-day. Sorry about no links, but I can never get them to work. I guess I am technologically challenged. ( is there a book for that?) So exciting. My DH is getting me a shiny new bookcase for Christmas, even though its January. I really need it, the stacks are threatening to take over. His answer to that for awhile was to have less books. Can you imagine? Silly man. Anyway, I'm off to make my tea, and read ! I borrowed The Hound Of the Baskervilles from my sister( we went to see Sherlock Holmes this weekend, awesome!) I realized I've never read Arthur Conan Doyle! I couldn't believe it either. So, now , something new to read, Library here I come!

Peace for the New Year

2009-12-31T08:15:00.005-05:00

This year seems to have gone by with incredible speed. It has brought changes in my life that I never could have imagined on the last day of 2008. I have felt a depth of despair deeper than I have ever known, and the joy of accomplishing the impossible beyond what I ever thought I could do. I have learned more about myself in these past 12 months than I have in the past 35 years. I want to tell my family thank you, for without them I would not be where I am. I want to tell my friends thank you, for teaching my the true meaning of friendship. I have taken alot of first steps this year, and each one gives me the courage to take another. And I want to thank the people who have not given me what I asked for. Sometimes when you don't get what you thought you wanted( or needed), you realize that there are many doors open, and all you need to do is walk through, because at that point, it can't hurt.Happy New Year, everyone!~ And Happy Birthday to my sister, Sarah! Love you!

Deck the halls...

2009-12-27T07:56:00.004-05:00

Frozen fog on the mountain behind my house

I filled my feeders that morning, the chickadees were happy!

Hunter, deep in baseball lore

a small sampling of my favorite people

picking just the right tree, it was Very Cold that day!

So we're at that mid-point of the holidays.( Anyone who says they're over at Christmas does not know my family!) Two days of Christmas around here, always the big gift -opening on Eve, to the tune of about 32 people, and a Nana who insists on buys lots of ( admittedly wonderful) gifts for everyone. Of course, there is nothing that you can get for her. I really prefer the next morning at our house, jusat the small thing we got for each other, but chosen with great care, because if you're only going to get/make a few things, they had better be good. I do like to give pictures out as gifts, all year I'll chase the little kids around with my camera, set to black and white. There is always one that jumps out at me. Lots of baking this year as well. As I was in school right up to the week before, there wasen't much room in my head for holiday stuff. This was actually one of the more low stress holidays for me. I just realized that whatever I did would be enough. Christmas cards? Not this year. sewing projects? only two pairs of jammie pants for my boys. The list of what I wanted to do was a bit more involved than what I really got done. That's alright. Too many Christmases have been spent with tears and yelling, frayed nerves and tight shoulders from trying to "do it all", and still be happy. If there are people out there who can do it all, more power to them. I am not one. Oh, I suppose if I didn't have a job, and homework, and kids who play JV basketball, and ice skate, then sure I could. But in real life, not so much. I've learned that it is really okay to cut myself a little slack. It took a looong time to sink in, but now its lodged in my brain, and there it will stay. As far as I am concerned, there is no bad time to get gifts, so if my handmade dolls do not get to my sisters till February, that's fine. In fact, it might be just the thing to perk up their day. That always works for me.

Tap,Tap. Is this thing on?

2009-12-21T19:16:00.004-05:00

I wonder if anyone reads this at all. Not that it matters. I just like to do it for myself, I guess. I figure that I've spent sooo much time reading other blogs, that it seemed natural to have my own. I know that I would not be the person I am without those wonderful women sharing their words, thoughts, photos, ideas, and even heartbreaks. Some I still read every day( Soulemama, anyone?), and some when the mood strikes( mad organica is often inspiring). Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own lives, personal dramas, the little things that threaten to overwhelm us. These friends, as they really are to me, help me to remember that there is more to it than that.So, this was not the direction I meant to take with this post, it was meant to be more of a "End of term, getting ready for Xmas, I found an awesome new CD( Sarah Jarozs), type of thing. Of course, as I have two pairs of Christmas jammie pants to get made this week, and last minute wrapping and getting-ready-to-ship-to-Florida, I guess that I ought to get off the computer.
Everyone have a wonderful holiday!!!

** one last thing~ if these links don't work, just type the names into your search engine, its worth it!

Tis the season...

2009-12-06T14:42:00.003-05:00

Well, I am meant to be writing a six page paper for my Tuesday class, and a 5 page paper for my Thursday class. But instead here I am, trying to get in the spirit of the season just a little. These are my neighbors lights, ours went up today. I keep forgetting its almost Xmas, there's so much I still need to do. But only 2 weeks left till term ends! I am more than overdue for a break. But the snow we got yesterday helped, if only it will stick around now...

Permission

2009-11-14T14:38:00.003-05:00

Today I am giving myself permission to just be. To bake a cake instead of reading another chapter. To work on the afghan I am making for my grandmother instead of writing the essay due on Tuesday.To ( gasp!) Take .A .Nap. I have been so involved in school stuff, work stuff, home stuff, sports stuff, kid stuff. I seriously think I'm losing it, just a little. The boys say I'm never happy anymore. I do believe they're right. Oh no. That is not how I meant for this to be. I thought I could handle "everything" without getting bitchy, or even just too bogged down to enjoy right now. But it's raining( pouring, actually). And the kids are off at practice( basketball this time). So the house is quiet, and the laundry's mostly done. I am going to bake that cake, and later, with my friends, and family, I will eat it too.

How about you? Have you given yourself permission to let things go, a little bit?

Rummage Sale!

2009-11-07T12:07:00.006-05:00

copper recipe box~ .25!

this was great, a big bag full of vintage calender towels for $1.00

beautiful doilies...

Pyrex! and Tupperware! ~ $3.00!

.sigh. I love this rummage sale. So much great stuff, all for mere pennies. ( quarters ,actually, but whatever)I went with Fischer, whose early morning plans to go hunting with his uncle were scuttled, but he'll make it out there this afternoon. There was a line out the door before it started, and once you got in, it was wall to wall people. Even after an hour, it was still full. But the church that holds it makes thousands of dollars every year. That's a good thing, especially these days. It was a good break from school and house work, but now its back to it.

In the thick of it all...

2009-11-06T16:41:00.003-05:00

That's how it is these days. I am so so grateful for all that I have( a warm house, good food, healthy children, wonderful hubby), but at the same time, feel so overwhelmed by everything that I need to do, with not enough time to do it all. Classwork, housework, kid stuff, work work, more work work, and people not paying us when they ought to. ( this is a recurring theme.) As hard as I try, sometimes its all too much. I'm not always sure where the strength to go on comes from. I am really glad it does though, no matter what. But on a brighter note, Rummage Sale! Tomorrow! My favorite one of the year.And, going to my Sister's house! in two weeks! SOO can't wait for that. So I will leave you with a pretty picture, and the promise of more this weekend.( from the Rummage Sale!, and maybe a hike if I can squeeze it in.)

Sunday in the woods...

2009-10-25T16:02:00.003-04:00

Just a few pictures today, not too many words. Glad to get out with Fischer( and Taylor!), they don't spend enough time in the woods.After all the rain yesterday, it was fabulous to see the sun. Here's to Fall!

I'm late, I'm late, said the White Rabbit

2009-10-21T07:26:00.002-04:00

My package for the Vintage Swap is going out today! Don't worry, I didn't forget!( I hate when Real Life gets in the way of my plans). Here's a sneak peek. Cheers!

It occured to me...

2009-10-17T10:50:00.003-04:00

that thirty or so years ago, my mother could be doing the very things I am right now, making applesauce, watering plants, and listening to Phoebe Snow albums (ALBUMS!), while trying to keep the fire going in the woodstove, all on a Saturday. My grandmother gave me her record player last week, and my dad had given me all his and Mom's old albums ages ago. ( except for the Beatles and the Bill Cosby ones, of course those have vanished. My favorite ones, natch.)Funny how these things just pop into your head.

up for air...

2009-09-24T15:21:00.003-04:00

Alot of my time these days seems to be at things like this... and less at things like this.

That's alright. I don't really spend much time watching butterflies, you should understand. But things are so very,very busy here, that the time to do something like that is quite rare. I love watching the boys play soccer( the picture is from last nights game, they won 6-1!) , and I am very glad to be back in school, although the exam I have tomorrow is a nerve-wracking proposition! I need to do well so very much, and this is my first real test of how that will work out. But in addition to all that( and housework, my job, my other job, and what else? oh yes, sleep!) I am really enjoying the changing of the seasons. The color is really showing up now, but the days are still warm, the nights just right for a good nights sleep. All over the place, I see signs of Fall. But I'm glad summer's not ready to leave just yet.

Also, as if all I've got going on is not enough, I've joined the vintage swap that Heather at Shivaya Naturals is hosting. ( I hope these links work out, linking is not my strong suit) I've never done one before, but it seemed too much fun to pass up! I'm sure I'll get a chance to enjoy what my partner sends, once term is out. Not too much time for crafting right now, but it will be there.

time marches on...

2009-08-26T07:41:00.004-04:00

Back to school again. For the first time in nine years, I have not driven to the elementary school. Both kids are at the high school now. How does the time go so quickly, and yet drag at the same time? As I left the parking lot this morning, Fischer had already met up with a friend of his, and he didn't even notice when I drove away. I am glad about that;at least he's not nervous, much. But it struck me as I was leaving, that both my kids are having a very different experience than I did, at that school. Junior high was my own personal hell on earth. As I can look back now, twenty four years later, I see that much of it was more or less my own doing, I was painfully insecure. Too afraid to even talk to upperclassmen! Can you imagine? I didn't know then, that nobody is going to talk to you if you're afraid of your own shadow. Not being involved didn't help either. But there again, I never felt that I would be "good enough" at anything, so I never did anything. A self fullfilling prophecy, I suppose. But a part of it, as well, had to do with my parents getting divorced right around that time. Sometimes it takes me a loooong time to figure things out( go ahead and say, Sarah: DUH!). But in thinking, and hoping that Fischer has a good time in school, made me realize that they are NOT going to have the same experience I did. Kind of makes me want to go do it over. With what I know now, of course.

they're all gone..

2009-08-15T15:35:00.005-04:00

So the house is all mine this afternoon. The boys are at my Dad's, and Craig had to work in town today. So what does one do with all this (most appreciated) peace and quiet? Whatever one wants. For me, it is more a list of things I am not doing, including driving anywhere, as I have been to town at least two( and sometimes three) times a day, for the last three weeks. I am however, getting my laundry caught up( and being exceedingly jealous of my sister's clothesline!), eating lunch in peace, and enjoying the TV being OFF. I also managed to clean out the fridge( how does it get so gross?), organize my desk, and make a tie-dye T-shirt, from a kit I got at a yard sale. The boys got the same ones for Xmas last year, and I was so glad to find one for me!

I had written a grouchy post the other day, mostly grumbling about the other members of my household. Not all of it, as I must mention that last weekend I was at Sarah's, and we had a wonderful time, going to lunch ( potato and cheddar soup! roast beef in a spinach wrap! I love that we love the same things, and so can share lunch), and finding great bargins( and presents!) at the second-hand shop next to the cafe. So I decided that the bad-mood post had to go. And it went. I don't need to remember those days, y'know. But today is a good day, with a walk with Gretchen to look forward to later( hopefully the mosqutioes will disappear!), and maybe popcorn after.

The pictures are just random bits of niceness from my summer, at the lake, or Sarah's( one of my favorite places to be.)

A few of my favorite things...

2009-07-31T08:08:00.005-04:00

Not too many words today, its raining again and that seems to make me feel quiet. Just a few shots today of my favorite people,my sister Sarah at our dad's for Fathers Day,my other sister Arrow and her family, who were a wonderful birthday gift this year, although I didn't end up getting any pictures of her, so her sweet boys(and mine) will suffice, the boys at the Lake, Craig at baseball, Gretchen and I at the Lake House for dinner . I miss my sisters, I don't see them often enough. But next weekend, I will be at Sarah's! Yay!

Getting Ready

2009-07-19T06:58:00.003-04:00

I had something to say, when I sat down here. But in the time it took to load this picture, it seems to have deserted me. Perhaps its too early, especially on a Sunday. Perhaps its because I haven't had any tea yet. But the boys are at Nana's, and Craig is still sleeping. So that means the house is utterly quiet, except for the birds outside. There is nothing like the quiet of a house first thing in the morning,before anyone else is awake.Before Sportscenter is turned on, or the phone starts ringing. Sometimes even the fans in the windows are too noisy. And the fact that I spent yesterday cleaning the house ( even on such a beautiful day as yesterday was! I know, I know. but it had to be done.), means that I feel better this morning. I even cleaned under my bed. That is akin to cleaning your kitchen cupboards. Even though nobody can see it, you feel better knowing its done. And, you just want to leave the doors open, to admire your work. ( Does anyone else do that?) A little rearranging also took place, and some getting rid of stuff that just didn't quite work anymore. So now, today I will be outside. I will go far a walk with my friend, Gretchen, whom I have not seen in over a week, since she's been in Maine. And maybe I will go out back, this afternoon, once the boys are home, and lie down on a quilt and do a little bit of nothing. But it really won't be nothing. There are clouds to look at, birds to listen to, and my gardens to wander through, wondering why the deer show no interest in the weeds growing around the edges, instead of the peas, the tomatoes, and the black eyed Susans I grew from seed this Spring. To admire the huge patch of pumpkins, and to lament that the cucumbers are doing so very poorly. I really wanted bread and butter pickles this year. I've been so busy this week, what with work, kids, and finally, getting registered for college classes this Fall. I've been very nervous about getting one particular class before it filled up, and now that that's done, I am now nervous about getting a good enough grade to be accepted into the Nursing program next year.
But today, the sun is out. My house is clean. I have nothing to do but the aforementioned walk, and lying around. That will be enough for today.

Summer Sunday

2009-07-12T15:02:00.003-04:00

Some scenes from our day...... the annual car show in town, flea market, and all-around nice day. Finally, some sunshine!

at the edge of the diving board

2009-07-11T08:00:00.000-04:00

I feel like I did when I stood on the edge of Second Dock, at the pool I swam in when I was growing up. It was so far above the dark green water, and everyone who jumped( I was never confident enough to actually dive), would stand there for that moment, trying to gauge how deep it would be, how cold, if they could touch the bottom. Right now I feel like that. Everything that I have become used to in my life, since I got married 16 years ago, is changing. I had my sons, and stayed home to raise them during their younger years. As they got older, I began to work with my husband, something all of our friends said they themselves could never do( " He /She would drive me crazy!). But now. Now I am standing on the edge of the diving board. Craig and I are still good, after all these years, and all we have been through. This last year has been, without a doubt, the most difficult. What with sales dropping off, but never with bills getting lower, the decision to go back to school, and get my degree in Nursing has been made. I am beyond nervous. At first, I was excited. To be honest, I still am. But now its tinged around the edges with fear. What if I don't get the classes I need? It's so late to be registering. What if , despite my best efforts, I don't get the grades I need?The A&P was always my downfall. Will I be able to continue to give my boys what they need? Fischer is worried I'll be too busy for him. Other concerns as well, that I really don't have a name for. Just a general feeling of unease. I never imagined that I would be doing anything like this at my age.My sisters, and my mom, dad, grandma, aunts, are all so thrilled for me. I know that this is the right thing to do, to show my children how important it is to get the college education. That it dosen't matter how old you are, to try to improve yourself. I want them to be proud of me, as I am proud of their accomplishments.
Perhaps, once I have actually registered for classes, I will feel better. I'm worried that, as its so late in the summer, I will find that the classes I need are filled. That is my biggest fear. It feels like hurry up and wait.
Ona better note, one of our customers showed up a few minutes ago with WORK! Of course, he'd not brought his checkbook, par for the course. But this is going to take a great deal of the pressure off the rest of my worries, for who dosen't worry about money? We'll get through this, we've managed every other challenge so far. The truth is , that you really don't know what you can do until you're faced with the most difficult of challenges. They are different for everyone, but you don't forget the lessons that they teach you.